A Relating Languages article.*
*There is an introduction to the Relating Languages system here. However, you can probably pick up on enough context in this article to understand without reading the intro first.
Every week, I lead an event called Facilitation Fear Lab, where leaders of all kinds get to play out their greatest fears.
In my experience, when we’re scared of something, we start to avoid it. I’ve often constructed my events to make sure that certain situations cannot occur.
- I’ll schedule activities tightly, so that there is no space for me not knowing what to do.
- I’ll frame agreements such that love and support are welcome, but not conflict.
- I’ll choose to lead only groups I identify with and know well, to make sure I will not make a faux pas.
The problem is, the tighter I wind myself into these boxes, the less flexibility and skill I have as a leader. But, as a leader, the scariest thing is to end up in control of a situation I don’t know how to manage.
This was the impetus for Facilitation Fear Lab. It gives leaders and facilitators a space to play out the situations they don’t know how to manage, or have been…
